


hold you tight

by itsmylifekay



Series: Steve wearing Bucky's shirt apparently leads to sex [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: And feels, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Sex, just lots of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 01:16:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1921140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmylifekay/pseuds/itsmylifekay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky doesn't know if he and Steve will ever be the same, or if his Steve even exists anymore, still alive somewhere underneath the gigantic weight of all that is Captain America.</p><p>Or, Bucky thinks Steve won't want to be his best guy anymore but Steve enthusiastically proves him wrong and the magical shirt returns.</p><p>part of a series, can be read alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hold you tight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fannishfrenzyluff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fannishfrenzyluff/gifts).



> hope you enjoy!!! this is my first official gift fic i guess, so i hope the intended recipient enjoys it^^
> 
> written in like four hours with no beta read, all mistakes are my own

 

\---+---+---+---

Steve was sitting on his cot when Bucky walked in, slumped in on himself and looking smaller than any man his size had a right to. It was mostly dark, nothing inside to light up the space and Steve’s tent too far away from the rest of the troops for anything to filter in from the outside. Just one of the many perks of being Captain America, Bucky presumed. Tent to yourself. Not having to take turns sleeping closest to the fire. (Not that Bucky imagined Steve got cold anymore.)

Regardless, Steve had it pretty good out here. Bucky just didn’t like what he’d done to get there. In fact, he kind of hated it. They’d taken his Stevie and turned him into something else. Some hulking thing for them to throw at enemy lines, parade around like a showpiece…it burned him up inside to know that even after all Steve had been through, even after giving himself up to be some kind of _experiment_ , he still wasn’t getting the respect he deserved.

He was also mourning the loss of a friend, still tasting the bitter tang of it on his tongue every time he looked at Steve and saw someone else looking back through too familiar eyes. Because as much as it hurt to admit, he knew that wasn’t his Steve anymore.

His Steve was gone. Replaced by the Allies’ Captain America.

And it stung something awful, more than anything Zola did to him in that lab. Because at least through all that he’d been able to cling onto the belief that Steve was somewhere back in Brooklyn, drawing and shivering and waiting for Bucky to come home.

But now that idea was shot all to hell.

Steve didn’t need him anymore, so what did he have to live for? And yeah, he could live for his country or the women and children back in the states, but at the end of it all he knew the only thing that had ever kept him fighting for survival the hardest was the knowledge that Steve had needed him. That he had to keep going. That his life wasn’t something he could freely give because it was _Steve’s._ He was Steve’s. And Steve was supposed to be his.

But not anymore.

“Steve,” he said, trying to crack a smile because he knew that’s what he had to do to keep this somewhat normal. “What’re you still doing up, punk?”

There was a heavy moment of silence before Steve finally answered, “Waiting for you, Buck.”

His voice cracked on Bucky’s name and something inside Bucky’s chest twisted with hopeful recognition, but he quickly tamped it down. “Aw, c’mon Steve. I’ve told you a thousand times you shouldn’t wait up for me.” A thousand times filled with worry that one day Steve would catch his death waiting up in the cold, that the lack of sleep would weaken him until some virus finally took him. He swallowed thickly. “Important guy like you, hell, you should be sleeping every chance you get.”

Steve took a shaky breath. “I asked you to come earlier…I-”

And yeah, Steve had sent some about mid-afternoon, a message about meeting him in his tent after dinner to discuss some kind of battle plan. Bucky had been conveniently busy until just a few minutes ago, nothing at all to do with the slim hope Steve had given up and gone to bed. But in the end he couldn’t stay away completely, needed to see Steve even if it was from two feet and what felt like a million miles away.

“Bucky,” Steve said again, trying to be firm Bucky could tell. But he lit up a lamp in the same moment, throwing the space into a muted light and punching all the air from Bucky’s lungs. Because _shit_ that was… “Please,” Steve whispered, somehow becoming even smaller as he looked up at Bucky and crossed his arms protectively in front of his stomach. As if he had something to be afraid of.

Bucky took a hesitant step forward. “Is that…?” He asked, taking the last step to bring him next to Steve and lifting his hand to Steve’s shoulder, running his fingers across the fabric there. Steve nodded and Bucky frowned. “You went through my things?”

“I’m sorry, I just figured you had it with you and Buck, please, please don’t make me take it off. I don’t know what I’d do if you- if you-”

“If I what?” Bucky asked. Steve didn’t answer right away so Bucky tightened his hold on Steve’s shoulder. “If I _what,_ Steve?”

Steve sucked in a breath. “If you told me I wasn’t yours.”

Everything seemed to go silent for a minute, even Bucky’s head going white with the rush of shock and disbelief that came with Steve’s words. “Steve…” He whispered, the name automatic and painful on his lips, filled with so much more meaning than he could ever hope to convey.

But Steve understood. He always understood. The same was Bucky could read the slant to Steve’s shoulders and the shirt stretched tight across his back and maybe Bucky wasn’t so lost after all. He just needed a little light to see the way.

“Steve,” he said again, placing both his hands on either side of Steve’s face. “Stevie... You really mean that?”

“Course, Buck.” Steve whispered harshly, eyes suddenly alive again and lit with a familiar fire. “Why the hell wouldn’t I?”

Bucky gave Steve’s body a purposeful look then meet Steve’s eyes again. “Didn’t know if Captain America needed anyone to save him.”

Steve face crumpled at that. “I’m not- I’m not him, Buck. I’m still just me. I’m still just Steve.”

“Alright,” Bucky murmured, stroking his fingers back through Steve’s hair and raking his nails against his scalp, reveling in the way Steve bared his neck to him. Still so vulnerable, willing to give Bucky anything, everything. A shiver went down Bucky’s spine. “Alright, Stevie. You can keep the shirt on. If that’s what you want.”

Steve leaned forward and buried his face in Bucky’s stomach. “More than anything,” he said, muffled nearly beyond recognition. But Bucky still heard him.

“Then get on your back, soldier. Because I think you need a bit more reminding of who you belong to.”

Steve let out a small groan and immediately moved to comply, stretching himself out on the narrow cot and looking up to Bucky for guidance. And that was new. Usually Steve had at least some snarky comment to throw out, some snide way of letting Bucky know that yeah, maybe Steve was letting him have control but he could still fillet him six ways to Sunday should he try to take advantage of that. (Not that either of them thought Bucky ever would, it was more of a pride thing than anything.)

And the fact that Steve was doing none of that now spoke volumes as to how much he needed this. How much he _had_ needed this when Bucky wasn’t around to give it to him. And shit, how had he ever been so stupid?

He bent down to stroke some more at Steve’s hair, letting the strands slip through his fingers as Steve relaxed into the touch. “How far you wanna take this, Steve?” Bucky finally asked, keeping his voice soft so as to not startle Steve out of the fragile head space he had entered but at the same time needing a straight answer.

“I need you, Buck.” Steve whispered back, eyes still shut like he didn’t want to admit it was real. Bucky couldn’t have that.

He threaded his fingers tighter in Steve’s hair and pulled until Steve’s eyes fluttered open and met his own. “Say it again, Stevie.”

Steve swallowed. “I need you…”

“There you go,” Bucky murmured encouragingly, giving Steve’s hair one last ruffle before stepping back and pulling off his shirt. He could feel Steve’s eyes on his bare back as he shuffled about the room, gathering the few things they’d need before returning to his side. “You gonna strip for me, baby doll? Or you want me to do it?”

Steve looked up at him with wide eyes and Bucky had a brief moment to worry if maybe he’d said something wrong when Steve was suddenly squirming on the bed, working off all his clothes from the waist down until he was lying naked and exposed, nothing but the straining fabric of Bucky’s old shirt to cover him. And that wasn’t doing much at all.

Bucky quickly stripped off the last of his own clothing before crawling up to settle between Steve’s thighs, willingly parted as soon as Steve had seen where he was headed. Always so eager to have Bucky pressed up against him. And Bucky didn’t disappoint, immediately surging forward to meet Steve’s mouth, starting up a kiss that was all teeth and tongues and urgency because that hadn’t had something like this in so long and Bucky needed to push Steve that last little bit over the edge until he was lax and willing in Bucky’s arms.

It took a few minutes of Bucky keeping Steve pressed flat on his back, biting at his lips and tongue and neck and licking into his mouth like a man starved for it, before Steve finally gave in, jaw falling open for Bucky to plunder, not putting up any fight at all. Just trusting Bucky to take and give what was best for both of them.

Bucky pulled back and pressed a kiss to Steve’s forehead, then each of his temples, before finally settling back on his mouth, a chaste press of lips before he leant back to stare down at his work. Steve was staring up at him through bleary eyes, mouth open and wet and waiting for Bucky’s next move.

Bucky’s hands trailed down his chest, considering, then froze when Steve let out a breathy noise, eyes fluttering shut again as one of Bucky’s fingers skimmed a nipple. “You remember this?” Bucky asked, rubbing over one of Steve’s nipples with the flat of his hand. “You remember how much you loved this? How much we both did? God, you would look so good Stevie.” He bent his head down and mouthed over one of the clothed buds, pinching the other between his fingers. Steve gasped and arched off the bed, pushing against Bucky’s mouth. Bucky worked with his lips and teeth and tongue until the fabric was sopping and Steve was squirming incoherently beneath him, only stopping to switch sides before starting the process all over again. The fabric was even thinner than he remembered, worn down by use and travel, stretched thin by Steve’s new body. It clung like a second skin and left practically nothing to the imagination when Bucky finally leaned back to survey his work.

“So good for me, Stevie. Still so good.” He ran his thumb along Steve’s lower lip and received a whimper for his praise.

“Buck. Bucky, please.” Steve groaned. He rolled his hips up into Bucky’s in a desperate attempt at friction.

“Now, Stevie.” Bucky tutted. “You gotta be patient. I still have to get you ready, take it nice and slow…”

Steve moaned at the thought. “ _Bucky._ ”

“That’s right, sweetheart. Gonna take it so slow for you, just like before. Cause you’re still my baby doll. You’re still my Stevie and I ain’t gonna break any part of you. Gonna wait until you’re ready, until you understand how much I love you, then I’ll take even a little longer, just because I can and I know you like it too. Like it when I get you so sloppy down there that I can hardly keep your cheeks open with my fingers slipping from all the wet.”

Steve drove his hips up again and groaned, clutching at Bucky’s biceps, his shoulder blades, trying to draw him closer. “Buck, please, please,” he panted. “Need you, need you, please.”

“Then you gotta let go of me,” Bucky said, leaning back once Steve complied and reaching for the little jar of jelly he had snatched from Steve’s first aid kit. He scooped some up with a few of his fingers then nudged his hand against Steve’s thigh, pressing it further open before humming in consideration. “Think you can hold yourself open for me, Stevie? Keep yourself spread open nice and wide for my fingers?”

Steve inhaled sharply then nodded, reaching down to tentatively grab at his thigh. Bucky shook his head. “Not like that, gotta get your cheeks, too. Here, I’ll show you.” He went to grab Steve’s wrist but stopped when he realized the mess on his hand, then grinned when an idea flashed through his head, taking no time to consider before reaching down and swiping his fingers against Steve’s crack, over his hole and up the sides until it was a goopy mess down there but his fingers were mostly clean. He grabbed Steve’s wrist and used his other hand to push his thigh back, ignoring the way Steve was squirming at the new sensation between his legs.

“Gotta use your elbow behind your knee to keep your legs open then reach between to get down here…” He moved Steve’s hand into the correct position and waited for Steve to do the same with the other side before patting him gently on the back of his thigh. “There you go. So good for me, Stevie. Look at you already so eager for it.” He looked down to where Steve was displaying himself and traced two of his fingers over his hole. “Already twitching for me, too. Want me inside of you, right?”

“Please,” Steve panted. “Please, Buck, please. Want you.”

Buck reached in the jar and smeared some more of the jelly on his fingers. “Well since you asked so nicely.” He pressed the tip of his first finger into Steve and watched as it disappeared inside, then started up an easy pace of in and out, crooking his finger every now and again to get Steve to jump. He added a second finger not too long after, Steve a mess beneath his hands.

“You wanna know something,” Bucky asked, not really expecting an answer. “This body of yours may be bigger but it still likes all of the same things, doesn’t it? Likes when I do this,” he shoved his fingers in deeper and smiled when Steve arched off the bed with a groan. “And I bet you still like this one, too.” He swirled his fingers out before pushing them back in, making sure that the reentry sounded as sloppy and wet as possible. Steve’s eyes rolled back in his head.

“That’s it,” Bucky murmured. “That’s my Stevie.” He added a third finger and crooned at the startled noise Steve made. “It’s alright, I’ve got you. Gonna make sure you’re nice and ready for me.” He worked his fingers in and out for a few minutes more before finally pulling them away, kissing silent the noise of loss Steve made before slicking himself up and lining up at Steve’s entrance.

“You sure you’re ready, doll face? Or do you want more of my fingers? We can take this however slow you want.”

Steve let out a strangled noise and shook his head frantically against the bed, hole twitching where the head of Bucky’s cock barely touched it. “Ready, Buck. Please, please, I’m ready. Just want you. Want y-” he broke off into a throaty groan as Bucky moved his hips forward and pushed inside of him in one slow, steady stroke until he finally bottomed out, balls flush against Steve’s ass.

Steve’s hands were shaking where he was still holding himself open and Bucky carefully swatted them away, hooking his own elbows behind Steve’s knees and letting Steve’s hands clutch at his biceps. And if the grip was a little more bruising than he remembered, then that was just something he was going to have to learn to love. And in a way it was nice, knowing that the snapping rhythm of his hips wasn't going to actually break Steve any time soon. There would be no sudden asthma attacks or heart scares, no wondering if someday Steve wasn’t going to literally die during orgasm. At least he hoped not. So far at least, Steve seemed to be holding up just fine. Better than fine, really.

Those same hands suddenly jerked him closer and he was met with Steve’s heated gaze, fire lit not just by lust but by something else, something that had a smile curling at Bucky’s lips while Steve growled, “Bucky.”

“Yeah, Stevie?” He asked innocently, not resisting in the least when Steve pulled his legs away from Bucky’s hold and wrapped them around his hips instead, pushing Bucky further into him with each thrust. “Something you…” He gave a particularly hard thrust of his hips that had Steve’s head snapping back. “Something you need?”

“ _More,_ ” Steve groaned, moving his hands to grip at Bucky’s shoulder and pull him down.

Bucky’s elbows fell on either side of Steve’s head, holding himself up as he bent down and licked into Steve’s mouth before breathing against his lips. “Anything, Stevie, anything you want.”

And then both of their mouths were otherwise occupied, no room for words in the messy sounds of skin and heat and tongues and wet.

Bucky was just very glad Steve’s tent was so far away from the rest of camp. And that no one would dare disturb Captain America in the middle of the night.

Captain America…who was still his Steve.

“Always,” Steve said firmly, bringing back Bucky from his revelry and making him curse under his breath because he really hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud. “Always gonna be your Steve.” He pressed a kiss just beneath Bucky’s jaw and panted hot, wet air into the skin there. “Just like you’re always gonna be mine, Bucky. My best guy.”

“That right?” Buck picked up the pace of his thrusts, focusing on the angle to get more and more of Steve arching his back and scrambling frantically at the skin of Bucky’s shoulders. “Well you’re my best guy, too. Always been mine. My sweetheart. Guys out here brag about the dames they got waiting at home and I always told ‘em mine was better. Got hair like gold and eyes like the sky and a mouth that would make a knife look dull. They’d always get real jealous, ask for a picture. Never could show ‘em anything though. Probably thought I was lying but I knew I wasn’t.”

Steve was shaking beneath him, pushed closer and closer to the edge with every subsequent movement of Bucky’s hips and every word spilled from his mouth.

“Brought that shirt with me though. Brought it so that I could look at it and remember the last time you wore it, remember how pretty you looked. Just for me. My best guy. And look at you now, still the most beautiful thing I ever saw.”

And that did it, sent Steve muffling a scream into Bucky’s shoulder, pressed there while Bucky continued to whisper praises in his ear as the last of his orgasm leaked hot and sticky between their stomachs, dirtying the shirt even more than it had been before. Bucky let the feel of the damp fabric and all the meaning behind it soak into his skin, clouding his thoughts as he gave himself over to the heat burning in his stomach, thrusting a few more times before filling Steve up with his own release.

He pulled out and flopped down on top of Steve’s body, taking advantage of the fact that he no longer had to worry about crushing him, and buried his face in Steve’s neck, inhaling the scent of sweat and sex and _Steve._ A distinctive thing that growing three times his size hadn’t changed.

Bucky let himself fall into the sensation as he caught his breath, only lifting his head when he felt Steve start to chuckle beneath him. “Wha?” He grumbled hazily.

Steve shook his head. “Nothing, Buck. Just happy. And wondering how I’m ever gonna get this shirt into the laundry without people talking.”

“Hell, Stevie.” Bucky groaned, propping himself up on an elbow to look down at the man below him. “Don’t just laugh like that after a man’s given you his time, does something awful to his self-esteem. And I’m sure you’ll think of something, sweet talk them into letting you do your own laundry with those big blue eyes of yours.” He plucked some of the damp fabric from Steve’s chest then let it fall back into place (only it kind of stayed peaked and wrinkled in the shape Buck’s fingers had pulled it, really did need a wash then).

Steve scrunched up his nose. “Whatever, Buck. You gonna lecture me about sleeping in wet clothes again?”

“Don't think I really need to anymore,” Bucky ran a hand down Steve’s chest, calloused palms catching at the soft fabric. “No chance of you catching a cold anymore.”

“Want me to keep it on then?”

Bucky looked back up at Steve and lifted an eyebrow at the offer. “Still don’t want you to be uncomfortable, Stevie. Should probably get you cleaned up before all this stuff sticks anyways.”

Bucky started to reach for the discarded shirt he had planned to use as a towel but Steve wrapped a hand around his wrist to stop him. “S’not so bad, Buck.” He squirmed against the bed, eyes looking to the side as a blush colored his cheeks, creeping down his neck and to his chest.

A knowing look slid over Bucky’s face, mingled with surprise and muted arousal. “You like it?” Steve nodded and squirmed again, _repositioning his hips_ , Bucky’s brain helpfully supplied. His gaze darkened and he slid a hand down to the back of Steve’s thigh. “Can I see?” He asked, voice heavy and thick.

Steve swallowed, eyes flicking up to search Bucky’s face and going glossy again at what he saw there. “Yeah, Buck. Course you can.”

Rolling both of them onto their sides, Bucky hooked one of Steve’s legs over his hip and moved so he could look down muscled back to the glistening wet skin between the swell of Steve’s ass. He traced a gentle finger through the wetness there, catching some of it on the pad and pushing it back into Steve’s leaking hole. Steve let out a breathy sigh.

“Wanna turn a little bit more for me, doll face?” Bucky whispered, inching out from Steve’s hold so he could get a better angle to look. Because it had certainly felt pretty spectacular, and Steve seemed to be enjoying the attention as well. Hips shifted and legs splayed as Steve presented himself again, but this time for entirely different reasons. And Bucky drank in the sight. Marveling at the physical evidence of his claim to Steve, how Steve had let him, wanted him.

A pained sound escaped his throat and he scrambled to push Steve onto his back again, immediately wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close, pressing kisses into warm skin wherever he could reach. “Love you, Stevie.”

“Love you too, Buck. Never gonna let you run off and leave me behind again.” He wrapped his arms around Bucky and squeezed him tight, holding Bucky as much as Bucky was holding him.

“Yeah,” Bucky whispered. “Never gonna leave you alone again, Steve. Can’t…”

Steve shushed him and nuzzled into the space beneath Bucky’s chin, pressing closer and holding on. _Shhh, it’s okay, I’m here._

And with the shirt Bucky had carried across the ocean to keep close in Steve’s stead now a wrinkled, sticky mess between them, Bucky let himself cling on and hope. Because he wasn’t just going to be fighting for a memory anymore, he was going to be fighting for all of the stories he and Steve would share in the future. It was a terrifying thought. Because while Steve had been sent out to protect the world, it was Bucky who had to protect Steve and all that he stood for. Not the muscles that now filled out and stretched Bucky’s once too-big shirt, or the serum that surged through Steve’s veins.

Steve was still Bucky’s to protect. He’d just become a whole lot harder for Bucky to hold on to.

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**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading~<3
> 
> i'm on [tumblr](itsmylifekay.tumblr.com) if you want to come say hi^^


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